What Not to Say to Women: 7 Phrases That Kill Attraction

Targeted Keywords: how to talk to women

Let’s cut through the noise. Most men talk themselves out of attraction without even realizing it.

You might be dressed well. You might even have a great physique.

But if you say the wrong thing?

Game over.

At Men of Action (MOA), we don’t teach men what to say. We teach them how to speak with presence, purpose, and confidence.

Here are 7 attraction-killing phrases you should never say to a woman, and how to reframe them so you stand out like a high-value man.

1. “So… what do you do for a living?”

Why it kills attraction:
It’s lazy, generic, and shows zero leadership. She’s heard it a thousand times. You just became forgettable.

What to say instead:
“Tell me something you actually enjoy doing, outside of the 9 to 5.”
This makes her feel seen, challenges her to reveal more, and puts you in control of the conversation.

2. “Can I buy you a drink?”

Why it kills attraction:
You’re trying to purchase attention. That’s a low-status move. High-value men don’t offer validation. They attract it.

What to say instead:
“We’re grabbing drinks at the lounge upstairs in a bit. You should join us.”
Lead with intent, not permission. Confidence beats generosity every time.

3. “You’re so pretty/beautiful.”

Why it kills attraction:
You’ve now joined the hundreds of guys who comment on her looks daily. You’ve given value away too early.

What to say instead:
“Dangerous combo. You’re actually interesting and you look like that.”
Adds a playful challenge. High-value men observe, not pedestal.

4. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

Why it kills attraction:
Sounds insecure. You’re implying she’s too good for you and waiting for her validation. Not attractive.

What to say instead:
“I’m surprised someone like you hasn’t been scooped up, but I get it. Most men don’t know what they’re doing.”
Flip the script. Now she’s qualifying herself to you.

5. “I don’t want to come off as creepy.”

Why it kills attraction:
If you have to say it, you probably already are. This screams self-doubt.

What to say instead:
Say nothing. Lead with relaxed body language and calm eye contact.
Confidence isn’t explained. It’s shown.

6. “I’ve never been good with women.”

Why it kills attraction:
Oversharing weakness without context lowers your perceived value. You’ve just labeled yourself unworthy.

What to say instead:
Don’t. Ever. Say. This.
Confidence is a muscle. Don’t tell her your reps are weak. Build your frame before you speak.

7. “What are you looking for?”

Why it kills attraction:
This frames her as the prize and you as the applicant. Low-status men chase clarity. High-status men create connection.

What to say instead:
“I’m very intentional with who I spend time with. Let’s see if we vibe.”
Puts you in control. Women love a man with standards.

Final Thoughts: Speak Like a Leader or Don’t Speak at All

Here’s the truth. You can’t fake confidence with words.
And you can’t attract high-quality women with weak, approval-seeking conversation.

At Men of Action, we don’t hand out scripts.
We build the man who doesn’t need them.

✔ High-status communication
✔ Powerful social circles
✔ A lifestyle that does the talking for you

Join MOA today and learn how to talk to women like the man they’re hoping to meet, not the one they forget two minutes later.